BREAKING: Congress Accidentally Votes to Make Itself Illegal, Immediately Begins Eviction Process
- thepoofstandard
- Jun 15
- 1 min read
Updated: Jun 16
Washington, D.C. — In a stunning late-night session, members of the United States Congress accidentally passed a bill that declares all legislative bodies “a threat to democracy,” effectively outlawing themselves.
The bill, titled The Save America from Congress Act (S.A.C.A.), passed 398 to 3, after most representatives admitted they didn’t read past the title. “I thought it was about TikTok again,” said one senator while packing up office plants.
Immediate Fallout:
The Capitol is now being converted into an indoor pickleball complex.
Former lawmakers have formed a support group called "Ex-Reps Anonymous" and are seeking part-time work on Cameo.
Ted Cruz has filed an emergency appeal claiming he “technically never worked.”
Public Reaction: The American public responded positively, with approval ratings for Congress skyrocketing to an all-time high after its abolishment.
“I’ve never trusted Congress until they did something right by accident,” said Sheila Brown, a retired librarian from Ohio. “It’s inspiring, really.”
Next Steps: The White House has announced plans to repurpose the legislative process with a rotating team of kindergarteners, retired Muppets, and one ChatGPT instance “trained on nothing but Jeopardy episodes and conspiracy forums.”
Meanwhile, the Supreme Court is reportedly reviewing the bill, though experts say their ruling will be completely ignored, per tradition.
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