NASA Confirms Earth Is Actually Just a Group Project Gone Wrong

Cape Canaveral, FL — In a startling announcement during a live press conference this morning, NASA officials revealed that Earth was never meant to be a functioning planet, but rather a chaotic group project created by an advanced alien civilization... that forgot to finish it.

“It started as a collaborative effort between several interstellar interns,” said NASA’s newly disillusioned Chief Astrophysicist, Dr. Lana Kreel. “They had a rough concept — oceans, oxygen, opposable thumbs — but then two of them ghosted the group chat, and the rest turned it in incomplete.”

The revelation comes after scientists discovered an ancient galactic Dropbox folder labeled: “EARTH_V1_FINAL (ACTUAL FINAL THIS TIME).zip”

Alien Team Members Identified

Using deep-space social tracking, NASA believes the original team included:

Glork – Species: Plasma-based; contributed volcanoes and sarcasm

Xeebo – Invented cats and then immediately left the group

K’tharnaxx – Was supposed to handle “intelligent life” but never responded to follow-up messages

Attempts to contact the alien creators have gone unanswered, though one did leave a 3-star review on Earth’s Yelp page. Comment: “Too loud. Everything burns. No customer support.”

Historical Evidence?

Historians now claim the group-project theory explains a lot:

The invention of TikTok

The existence of wasps

Florida

Pope Francis responded to the findings, stating: “We suspected as much. Genesis Chapter 1 does read like someone writing under deadline.”

What’s Next?

NASA says Earth will be monitored for further signs of cosmic negligence. Meanwhile, Elon Musk has announced plans to sue the alien interns for “emotional damage and brand confusion.”

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