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Billionaire Joins Middle Class for 24 Hours, Immediately Files for Emotional Damages

  • thepoofstandard
  • Jun 16
  • 2 min read
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PALO ALTO, CA — Billionaire tech mogul Chetford "Chet" Goldbrace, founder of app-based yacht rental platform Yotly, volunteered to spend a full 24 hours living like an average American. The experience, which he described as “harrowing,” ended with him filing a lawsuit against reality itself.


“I had to swipe my own debit card,” Goldbrace said at a press conference, visibly shaken. “And then it got declined at a grocery store called—what was it?—Aldi. I thought that was a skincare brand.”


The experiment, dubbed Project Relatable, was part of an image rehab campaign after Goldbrace referred to minimum wage as “an urban myth perpetuated by Big Sandwich.”


24 Hours in the Middle Class


Goldbrace's one-day journey included:


Taking public transportation (“I sat near a coughing man with... jeans.”)


Paying rent (via Venmo to a landlord named “JeffLandlord”)


Logging into a healthcare portal (“I think I accidentally applied for a mortgage.”)



He was last seen at a chain diner, staring into a plate of overcooked eggs, whispering, “So this is despair... served with hash browns.”


Psychological Fallout


By hour 18, Goldbrace had developed what his PR team described as “acute empathy,” which was immediately treated with a yacht nap and a cappuccino IV drip. Doctors diagnosed him with Sudden Onset Perspective — a rare condition among the ultra-wealthy.


“He almost tipped 20% at one point,” said his assistant, holding back tears. “We had to intervene.”


Legal Action Pending


Goldbrace is now suing the general public for “emotional negligence”, alleging they “failed to properly warn him about the horrors of budgeting, coupons, and thermostat arguments.”


As part of the settlement, he is requesting damages including:


One emotional support Lamborghini


The immediate erasure of every fast food receipt he encountered


A full pardon for ever having to say the phrase “split rent”



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